thenorphletpaperboy: To Hug or not to Hug

thenorphletpaperboy: To Hug or not to Hug: To Hug or not to Hug    I have the feeling I’m about to step off into some deep water, but here I go. I’m a confessed hugger, and I’m...

To Hug or not to Hug

To Hug or not to Hug  

I have the feeling I’m about to step off into some deep water, but here I go. I’m a confessed hugger, and I’m not going to stop. I guess you might say I’m a lightweight Joe Biden, but this is why: I’m a Southerner and Southerners hug. Okay, I know that’s not enough of a reason, but let’s review the old hugging concept in detail, and let’s see if just being a Southerner is enough justification to be a hugger.

Hugging is an emotional response, and there aren’t any hugs that are committed without some emotional attachment. That’s why we hug and the reason Southerners hug more is because we are more emotional than other Americans. Our southern hospitability is real, and it comes out when we extend our emotions out to encompass others, and those others may be people we barely know. An excellent example was staged where University of Alabama folks on a road heading to the big game with Auburn feigned a car breakdown near the Auburn campus, and did the Alabama folks just get honked at? No, the Auburn fans covered them up trying to help. That’s what Southerners do. Have you ever been on a back road where you were going slow enough to notice that folks in cars and pickup trucks were waving at you? Or, when I’m walking down a sidewalk and someone passes me and we both nod, and say “How’s it going?” and we answer, “Real good.” Of course, that is a true Southerner’s inner feelings coming out, and it is a rare Southerner who will ignore a nod and a “How you doin?” We are an emotional people and hugging is in our genes.

 Of course, sometimes our emotions cause us to be involved in actions we regret, and looking back at the Civil War is a good example. Southerners by the thousands, who didn’t own slaves, volunteered to fight and according to many commentaries, they expressed their rush to join the Confederate Army was with the hope they wouldn’t miss the fight, which they figured would just be one battle. And that tendency to get emotional about fighting or love of football is part of just the way we are, and I’m not changing and neither are 99% of the Southerners I know.

A Midwestern school did a study about the reactions of individuals who, in a crowded hallway, were deliberately bumped into by a rude person. In about three fourths of the country the reaction was about the same, which was a “Watch where you’re going,” etc. but in the South it moved to up several notches to almost a confrontation. Southern emotions come to the surface quickly, and we probable have more incidents of road rage.

 So what, you might say? What has that go to do with hugging? This, very simply, is if Southerners didn’t hug it would be suppression of their inner emotions, which are an expressive, compulsive, way of life. But before we delve into the act of hugging, let’s look at sexual abuse, which of course, is forcing unwanted physical affection upon someone of the opposite sex. Unwanted touching is not only just hugs, it can even be an unwanted handshake. Yes, I have met people who I didn’t want to shake their hand for various reasons, and I have had women hug me that I wish hadn’t, but that was usually a super, good hug while Vertis was in the room, so I guess I have never had many hugs I didn’t like.

If we really want to understand hugs we must understand that contact with another person is an emotional experience, and the difference of just a warm handshake and a nod of recognition is a lot more than you think. Of course, that’s the basic reason Southerners hug. They hug because it is an expression of emotions and hugging is a time tested way to express a person’s feelings. Of course, in the South hugging is not just hugging someone of the opposite sex. Not hardly. I don’t believe there’s a Southerner, including this writer, who hasn’t hugged someone of the same sex. To attend a funeral visitation of a good friend who is going through the emotional drama of losing someone very close to them, and for you of the same sex not to hug them is a loss to both. The compassion of a hug when given to a friend, who actually is in need of a hug, can’t be overemphasized.

But while we’re discussing hugging it wouldn’t be fair to exclude the unwanted hugs that are forced on a person. But there is a fine line between an unwanted hug and just a casual hug you might get as you come to a dinner party where you know everybody. Yes, the over demonstrative pressing hug from someone shouldn’t be tolerated, but let’s face it, some hugs are the catalyst for a future closer relationship that many times leads to marriage.

I guess the worst hugs are from predatory, supervisory men and women who use their position to force their sexual desire on another individual. And let’s face it, there are hugs that are unwanted, and given anyway, and those hugs are wrong. However, the human body instinctively reacts to unwanted hugs, and the hugger does know when his or her affectionate hug is being rejected. For an individual, who is forcing a hug, to press on is wrong and shouldn’t be tolerated.

Now while we’re on the just barely tolerated hugs, let me say that sometimes maybe our feeling are on our shirtsleeves, and maybe we shouldn’t be repulsed by a person who hugs just for his or her kicks. No, those hugs shouldn’t be tolerated, but of course there are plenty of gray areas where hugs are concerned, and I’m sure not an authority to say when a hug shouldn’t be tolerated.

However, I like the emotional connections I have with my friends, and meeting a person of the opposite sex with a hug is a tiny bit of spice that I don’t want to give up, but I consider myself a sensitive person, and if I hug you and you don’t want to be hugged, just let your body react, and I promise it will pass on the word to me that you don’t want to be hugged, and I won’t be hugging you in the future.

I guess we haven’t settled the question; is just being a Southerner enough reason to hug, and are Southerners off base with their emotions, and civilized folks don’t hug? I know our country, over the years, has gone through a number of changes where certain words and actions have been considered insensitive, and I agree, those comments and actions needed to be done away with. But I don’t think hugging fits into those categories. The idea that Southerners would stop hugging would be a change in our way of life, and by not expressing our emotions by hugging would be a detriment to 95% of the Southerners. So I’ll guarantee you this. I won’t be among the ones who takes a no hugging vow. 

thenorphletpaperboy: Give a Damn!

thenorphletpaperboy: Give a Damn!:                      Give a Damn!        I guess I have a soft spot for the environment, and I think it’s because of how I was so imm...

Give a Damn!

                     Give a Damn!

       I guess I have a soft spot for the environment, and I think it’s because of how I was so immersed in Arkansas’s woods, streams, lakes, and fields at an early age. From the time I was seven years old, I spent the vast majority of my free times in Arkansas’s outdoors. It really didn’t matter the season or time of day, it was always the right time for me, and those almost endless hours made a lasting difference in how I view Arkansas’s natural environment today, and that carried over as to how I view our planet. However, when I see rampant disregard for our natural surroundings, I know a lot of my fellow Americans and Arkansawyers really don’t give a damn.

            I see coal-fired, electrical generating plants spewing mercury into our atmosphere, and I think of some poor, pregnant woman who is eating fish containing toxic mercury that comes from those plants, which will drastically reduce the I. Q. of her unborn child, and I care, but most Americans don’t.

            I see hundreds of plastic bottles, straws, and grocery sacks along the road where I walk to get a little exercise, and it bothers me because we are giving our grandchildren an earth full of non-biodegradable trash. But you know what? Most Americans are going to keeping tossing ‘em out.

            I read where all of the Arkansas congressmen voted to delist the gray wolf from the Endangered Species List, knowing, according to wildlife experts, it means almost certain extinction of the wolf, but of course, they really don’t give a damn about wolves or other endangered wildlife.

            I see newspaper pictures where whales have beached themselves and died, because their stomach were filled with plastic bags, But most American won’t quit using them, because they are too lazy to bring reusable bags. They really don’t care if the bags they throw away are killing whales.

            I read about the impending disaster of epic proportions caused by global warming, but in order to create more of a market for coal and fossil fuels, global warming is denied, and it’s obvious these denying Americans only care about making money. But what’s even worse; they know they are lying.

            I’ve read scientific studies on climate change that say by the year 2100 the Gulf of Mexico will rise 4.3 feet in elevation, and the entire SE Louisiana area will be underwater, but most Americans really don’t give a damn. 

            I see restaurants flooding the landfills, roadsides, and our homes with one-use plastic eating utensils, bottles, and sacks, and it is obvious we don’t worry about plastic filling our landfills, or we’d pass laws to stop the practice.

            I noticed a bill that would allow clearcutting up to 10,000 acres of  National Forest land without a public hearing, and  that makes me know Congressman Westerman, the bill’s originator, doesn’t give a damn about the Arkansas forests, but he does care about his corporate campaign contributors.

I read where we are still losing thousands of acres of wetlands a year, but who cares? Americans don’t really give a damn, unless it’s in their backyard.

I see pictures of polar bears with cubs drowning in the Artic because of melting ice, but we say, “Hey, that’s way up there near the North Pole, and I don’t care if all the polar bears in the world drown.”

I read where the rainforest, the lungs of the earth, are still being destroyed at an alarming rate, but we obviously don’t give a damn, or we would make an effort to stop the loss.

I see politicians making fun of recycling and clean energy. Saying “Windmills cause cancer!” I guess windmills must get in the way of making money.

            I see that Arkansas Game and Fish Commission won’t restore our apex predators, which means they don’t care about the loss of our ground nesting quail or turkeys being destroyed by feral hogs. If they cared, they’d bring in wolves and more cougars to control feral hogs.

I see people spreading excess fertilizer on sterile, green yards, hanging bug zappers, and fogging their yard killing millions of good insects in the process, and I know these folks either don’t know better or they don’t care about the environment.

            I see a mass of plastic in the Pacific Ocean, six feet thick and as big as Texas, and obviously, we’re saying, “Pacific Ocean? I could care less.”

            I see towns routinely allowing the scraping off of huge areas for subdivisions without requiring a single tree to be replaced, and I know these people don’t understand what a citizen’s quality of life entails.

            I see where the Artic Wildlife Refuge and National Forest is being opened for mining and exploitation, and it’s obviously those in charge care about money more than the Artic environment.

            I see on the internet pictures of trophy hunters posing with the endangered species they killed, justifying it by saying the permit money to kill them goes for conservation. They say that even after killing an endangered giraffe? Really? Yes, the ‘thrill to kill’ includes endangered animals.

            I read where the recent legislature considered well over a 1000 new bills, but not one of those bills were to stop the hog farm from polluting our National River. Evidently, politicians don’t give a damn about the Buffalo National River. I’m still waiting for one politician to speak out for the river.