thenorphletpaperboy

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Ask The Richard


To The Richard:

I understand that in England they have something called the Department of People Who Walk Funny. Why can't we have similar departments?

Miss Susie Wiggles

Possum Trot, Arkansas



Dear Miss Wiggles:

You are very astute in your assessment of our need for additional state and federal departments. However, unbeknown to most of the public, many state and federal departments already have similar departments. I will list a few below.

(1) Under the Arkansas Facial Hair and Lip Enhancement Department there is a sub department called the Department of Eyelash Extension and Nail Color.

(2) The Arkansas Game and Fish Commission recently authorized a sub department called the Department of Lizards, Toads, and Bullfrogs. This department is also responsible for crawdads and salamanders, propagation and control.

(3) Another very active department, under the State Department of Natural Resources is  the sub Department of Home-made Whistles and Scarecrows, and this department is also the enforcement wing of the division and is responsible for making sure our discount stores have only Chinese products. 


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