thenorphletpaperboy: I Will Drink Your Blood---excerpt

thenorphletpaperboy: I Will Drink Your Blood---excerpt: Richard, John Clayton, and their Catholic friend Herbert Ray have just been to the Catholic Church in El Dorado to get Holy Water---Part...

I Will Drink Your Blood---excerpt

Richard, John Clayton, and their Catholic friend Herbert Ray have just been to the Catholic Church in El Dorado to get Holy Water---Part of a plan to ward off the Vampire Werewolf of Flat Creek Swamp

.......Well, after the Communion and more prayers, Father Gregory let us fill up our jars with Holy Water, and then we headed back up the street to the Ritz Theater. Well, I didn’t think that much about John Clayton downing all that wine, but Herbert Ray was sure upset.

“I can’t believe you drank the whole goblet of wine. I’ve never been so embarrassed. I just hope Father Gregory can get the wine out of his robe.”

John Clayton smiled, looked kinda funny, and said, “Might just become a Catholic, Herbert Ray.”

“What? Are you nuts? After what you did, they probably wouldn’t let you even come back in the church.”

Well, John Clayton didn’t seemed bothered one little bit about drinking the whole goblet of wine. In fact, he started whistling as we were walking along. Now, I’ve heard John Clayton whistle, but it’s usually to call dogs. Heck, he weren’t calling dogs now. It was some song that I couldn’t figure out, at least I couldn’t until he started singing it. ’Course, John Clayton really can sing. In fact he’s usually picked to be the singer in all the school plays, but he has never, never sang “Chattanooga Choo Choo” while walking down Main Street. Naw, wait a minute, he wasn't just walking, he was doing a choo-choo-like little dance, moving like a train as pumped his hands.

“What are you doing? What’s wrong with you?” I said. John Clayton looked at me and said, “Choo-choo, baby, choo-choo!” Shoot, his eyes had a glassy look like he’d been slapped alongside his head, and he was popping his lips up and down between the singing of “Chattanooga Choo Choo.”

Heck, people were starting to stare at John Clayton, who now had begun to roar down the street like a runaway train. Then I thought about the big goblet of wine. Yeah, the little idiot is drunk! I thought. Shoot, trying to get a 13-year-old drunk down Main Street without people thinking he needed to be committed, was really hard to do.

What was really embarrassing was when we met some adult, and if it was a woman, John Clayton would bow and say, “My dear, you look loverly.” Or if it was a man he’d say something like, “Good morning, sir. Nice to see you again.” And then he’d stick out his hand, and then when the man stuck out his hand, John Clayton would switch hands. And if one of us didn’t grab him, he’d keep doing it until the man stomped off.

Listen, the way folks were looking at him, I figured somebody was gonna send for a net and wagon to haul him off. We finally made it to the Ritz Theater, and I ran up and bought three tickets, and pulled John Clayton into the lobby. I figured he’d sober up by the time the double feature was over.

As we were about to go into the theater, I saw Old Man Slater, the theater manager, heading our way. Well, I knew why he was coming over to talk with us. It was gonna be another warning about playing some of our tricks in the theater. You know like having an owl-hooting contest—stuff like that.

“Listen up, you Norphlet boys: I don’t want any trouble out of you.” He was still shaking his bony finger at us when John Clayton saluted, got down on his knees, and started wailing, “Yas, sur, yas, sur, but please don’t beat me again! I promise we won’t sneak in no more. Looky here, we done bought tickets today.”

Well, it was really funny, and then John Clayton started to kiss his shoes. Gosh, kids were all around us laughing like crazy, and I was trying to pull John Clayton up off the floor. Old Man Slater was so shocked he just stood there until I finally pulled John Clayton up, and with Herbert Ray on one side and me on the other, we dragged our friend into the theater, while he started singing “Chattanooga Choo Choo” again, waving his arms like he was some famous singer.

That part was really, really embarrassing for us—having to walk with John Clayton skipping down a dark theater aisle, bouncing off both sides while crooning. Heck, he stopped about halfway down the aisle and announced,  “I can out-sing anybody in the theater.” Shoot, he’d just got that out of his mouth, when a half-bag of popcorn hit him alongside his head.

“Who did that?” he yelled.

“Me, and if you don’t sit down, that ain’t all that's gonna hit you.”

Wow, it was a kid about twice the size of John Clayton, and I grabbed John Clayton’s arm and started to pull him down the aisle.

“You and what army? We’ll stomp you sorry ass if you say another word!” John Clayton shouted.

We? I thought.

Oh my gosh, the big kid was trying to get out to the aisle. Heck, Herbert Ray got on one side of John Clayton and I got on the other, and we dragged John Clayton down front. After he sat down and the picture show started, I figured everything was gonna be okay, but I was wrong. About half-way through the Lash LaRue serial, John Clayton leaned over and whispered to me, “I’m gonna throw up.”

Gosh, I had been leaning back really enjoying Lash LaRue, until I heard those words.

“Come on, Herbert Ray! Let’s get out of here. Hurry! Hurry!”

“What? Why?”

Well, I didn’t have to tell Herbert Ray what was about to happen ’cause just then John Clayton vomited like a fire hose all over two rows of seats, and you could have heard kids scream halfway to Norphlet. Heck, I was running up the aisle like the place was on fire, and I didn’t stop until I got to the back row. Me and Herbert Ray slipped in there and hunkered down, while all the kids down front gagged and yelled.

Shoot, when Old Man Slater heard all the racket, he hightailed

Panic in Langley Bottom---overview

“Panic…” is the twelfth of the Richard The Norphlet Paperboy novels.  This series has been favorable compared to Mark Twain’s Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. The reviews have been excellent with almost 50 five star reviews. The novels have been featured in a number of schools as required reading, and the comments from teachers and students alike have been extremely positive.

The novels are set in the mid 1940s during the Second World War, and are based on the author’s experiences during that time period. A number of adult reviewers have commented that these novels are for all ages, and the nostalgic setting always brings back positive comments from senior adults as the boys and their families huddle around the radio listing to the famous newscaster, Walter Winchell….”Good evening Mr. and Mrs. North and South America and all the ships at sea…..this just in….General Patton army is on the move…”

A note from the author: “Writing this novel brought back more memories than any of the others I have written. The two boys, Richard and John Clayton get into quiet a bit of trouble as they usually do, but in this novel the settings are more authentic, and anyone growing up in South Arkansas during the 40s and 50s will recognize many of the places mentioned.

During the time frame covered by this novel, the most popular swimming hole for the boys in the Norphlet and Smackover area was a large, long abandoned oil storage pit called Blue Hole. One of the funniest situations I have penned occurs around a series of events that are kicked off by four boys going swimming in Blue Hole.